Barking Up The Wrong Tree is not your typical book about success. It’s a book covering topics and principles about success and its cliches. Let’s explore some of the myths we have known about success and discuss what’s in the book.
My Parents Used to Say, “Go to school so you will succeed in life.”
Will being a top student in school make you a success in life? Do valedictorians get rich or become millionaires later in life?
Being good in school is great as it can help you land reliable-demand jobs. But, according to a study by Karen Arnold from Boston College, most valedictorians settle into high-paying jobs and typically don’t become startup founders or businessmen.
They don’t seem to create world-changing companies or innovations. This is because most valedictorians settle into the system and don’t change it.
I know several people from my high school class who became executives, managers, and even presidents but never a founder. They didn’t dare to create their own business.
Most schools work on rules, while life doesn’t work that way. There are no clear rules in life.
How do you become more successful in life?
Know yourself!!
If you are a good student, double down on it and create a path that works for you.
- Know your strengths, and focus on what you’re good at to achieve your goals.
We are all not good at everything. Many of us would be better off mastering one thing than dabbling in many things.
You can do feedback analysis to know where you’re good at. Do something and take note of what you expect will happen, and later check on the result. If you keep doing this, you’ll later find out where you do well and don’t.
- Pick the right environment.
You will achieve greater success if you are in a place where your talents and skills align with what you’re good at.
Find a company or business to work with that aligns with your strengths.
Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
Taking advantage of people would work in the short run, but eventually, things will bite you back in the long term.
If you want your success to stay for the long term, do the right thing. Taking shortcuts will cost you a lot in the long run.
Being a giver in all areas of your life can greatly accelerate your prosperity. Givers tend to become very rich as people who appreciate them give them more in return for what they give.
What does it mean to be a giver? Mostly someone who gives their service, time, or even money for the good of all.
Forgiveness can help you get ahead as you don’t get stuck with emotions of anger that can keep you from coming up with better decisions.
Don’t be Envious
Just because someone is getting ahead doesn’t mean you can’t do the same.
Can confidence help you get it all?
Confidence is great as it helps you get what you want even if you’re not qualified. The problem happens if you are in a position of power and don’t stop thinking of consequences because you’re confident that your actions will always work.
A study shows that confident people make more money than their not-so-confident peers. They are more likely to get promoted as well.
What would be considered healthy confidence versus overconfidence? Confidence is when we know what we do is correct and make the right decision and action. Overconfidence is too much belief in ourselves, even if it’s wrong.
Does it mean we have to fake it to make it?
DON’T BE A FAKER
Faking is hard to maintain, and you’ll pay a lot if you fail. You’ll only get short-term benefits if you fake what you do before discovering it.
I know you think it’s best to fake it to impress people. People may be impressed at first, but they’ll start to distrust you once they find out. Instead of faking it, be comfortable with yourself and be your best version.
It’s alright to admit that you don’t know what you don’t know.
Do you need to meet the 10,000-hour practice to be an expert?
There are stories of people who spend so much time working that they reach success to the detriment of their relationships, family, and health.
Do you want to be that? I want to have some balance in my life. I always strive for work-life balance. Life is not all about earning money.
I learn that simplifying our expenses and lifestyle helps us focus on the most important things and not spend our time on things that don’t matter.
It may not make you a billionaire, but sacrificing extreme goals like being a billionaire will give you focus on things that will help your life as a whole. Success requires a lot of effort, no doubt about that.
Spending hours doing an insane amount of work can also lead to nothing if it’s not valuable to society. People pay for things that they get value from.
If you would work yourself to the bone and want something from it, like money or fame, it better be valuable, entertaining work or something that solves problems.
Working too hard is not all glamorous. A lot of workaholics regret working too hard on their deathbeds.
But if you are passionate about work that you would even do for free, your work becomes your play. You are ok with working long hours because you are doing something you like and have a strong suit to work for it.
They say motherhood is one of the hardest jobs in the world. You work 24/7, don’t get paid to do it, and it can sometimes be very stressful.
All that effort is paid for by seeing your child happy and growing up to be the person you aspire for them to be.
Working a passionate career that gives you meaning also helps your health. People working on their passions tend to care for themselves better and have better mental and physical health.
The opposite can be said with unemployment. According to a study, having no job or goal in life is shown to shorten life.
Being unemployed can severely blow your pride; some manifest as illness. There’s a bigger problem than being unemployed, and that is working a job that you hate.
The earlier paradigm that people regretted working too hard on their deathbeds may have worked jobs they didn’t like. Because if you work hard on something you love, would you still consider that work?
Is all work to the exclusion of everything else good?
There are stories of high achievers that are super successful in their chosen field but are dismal spouses and horrible parents to their kids.
They are so focused on their work that they don’t have the energy to spend time with their family. They get fulfilled but not happy.
Sacrificing relationships can make you extremely successful but emotionally miserable inside.
People burn out when they are not in jobs they are 100% passionate about. Scientists found out that the cure for burnout is relationships. Taking the time to talk about your issues with family and friends can help reduce your burnout.
So how can you be successful without sacrificing your family and relationships? Some of us want to have more without being miserable.
Have more fun time. People who make time for vacations and downtime become more productive once they resume work. They are more motivated to perform once they have taken the time to relax.
A study shows that working more hours doesn’t produce more results. After the 45-hour time spent on work, the quality and productivity decline.
We need idle time to give our brains the time to develop ideas. Ideas that can propel us to greater success. Groundbreaking ideas happen when you are in a relaxed state, not when you’re under pressure and overworked.
This leads to the greatest activity you can do for your downtime: SLEEP.
Sleep is very important for productivity. Having a not-so-restful sleep creates bad effects on your body, which in turn will affect your work.
A study shows that we become more pessimistic the less sleep we have. Lack of sleep affects chemicals in the brain that maintains our emotions. When you’re tired, it’s hard to stay happy.
Your quality of sleep affects your productivity. You’re most productive during the first 2 hours of the day, so if you already started in a bad mood because of lack of sleep, it will severely affect your whole day.
People are working too many hours these days that they rather choose to work than spend that time with family or friends. They want more money and more options; the trade-off is a disconnected relationship with loved ones.
So what do you do to achieve work-life balance?
Set a personal definition of what success means to you. Comparing your success to other people’s version of success is not good. Not all of us can do long work hours to achieve extreme levels of success.
You have to put a stop to too much work and make time for rest, recreation, and family.
You can’t let the world give you the standard of success. We are all different, and setting up a personal boundary on your achievements can help your health in the long run.
Make a decision, and don’t let others influence you. Decide how you want to live your life with what’s most important to you.
Having it all can be possible if you don’t allow others to set it for you. Businessman Ken Hakuta said, “ Success is something you will encounter in business.
You will give it meaning against something. That something should be your own purpose and goals.”
Evaluating Life
The authors of the book Just Enough interviewed highly successful executives and asked them what was enough for them. What would make them satisfied and stop the need to look for more?
The interviewees had a hard time coming up with answers.
A good life means more than having a lot of money. Money can give a short happiness boost.
Family and love friends are important, but we can’t quantify how much we need to get happiness from them. Measuring life by one measure stick is not enough to define success.
Four yardsticks on what matters most:
- Happiness – Are you feeling content and happy with your life?
- Achievement – Did you reach the personal goals that matter to you?
- Significance – Do you want to have a positive impact on people you care about?
- Legacy – Do you want to be remembered by others in the future in the that you want?
Fulfilling these four items regularly helps cover most of your decision-making process.
Ask yourself constantly, “ What’s good enough for you? “ Constraints are good for you. They make life easier because you have to decide less.
Want to succeed but don’t have all the time and energy?
The best way to accomplish this is to have a plan. You can have greater control if you plan how to overcome challenges and obstacles ahead of time. Feeling a sense of control motivates us to act. Having a plan is very important if you want to be successful and happy at the same time.
- Track your time
Note down the things that you are doing with your time. Do this step for a week, and you’ll find areas of improvement where you can use your time better.
Look for hours when you waste it the most and focus on it. Find ways to make use of time better.
- To-Do Lists are not good. It’s better to schedule everything.
To-do lists don’t let you accomplish everything. You can create many things on this list, but I doubt you’ll ever finish doing all of them in 24 hours. Scheduling activities to a calendar is the only way to accomplish your plans.
Scheduling every activity will ensure you get this task done no matter what. Also, you want to do this in your free time as well.
Scheduling free time will ensure you spend it on something enjoyable, not just some mindless, easy activity you automatically do.
Learn to say no a lot. Many things will ask for your attention, and learning to say NO to most of them will make you more productive.
Create an environment that works for you.
There are plenty of distractions. It would be very hard to prevent coworkers, bosses, spouses, and children from getting your attention. If you need to find a place where you can work the most productively, like a cafeteria, go ahead and do that.
- Put your phone in another room.
- Wake up earlier so you can work while everyone in the family still sleeps.
- Have a strict time off schedule.
- Schedule your work on a fixed schedule and make sure to adhere.
If it’s already time for enjoyment, leave the office on time and turn off any work-related notices. End the day on a good day so you can continue to love what you’re doing and not hate your job.
- Plan for tomorrow
Writing down the things you’ll do tomorrow will help lessen your worry for the day and will help give you more peace of mind.
Wrapping It Up
One of the key takeaways from the book is that there is no one-size-fits-all formula for success. The strategies that work for one person may not work for another.
Instead, the author suggests that we must be willing to experiment and try new things to find the best strategies for us.
Another important point is that success is not just about achieving external goals.
The author argues that true success is about finding fulfillment and happiness in our lives, which requires a focus on developing strong relationships, pursuing meaningful work, and living in line with our values.
Overall, Barking Up the Wrong Tree is a thought-provoking book that challenges many of our assumptions about success.
It offers practical advice and inspiring stories that encourage readers to think differently about achieving their goals.
One more thing, if you’re looking for brain exercises that can help you become successful, check my last blog post